Ode to an English plural

Grammatically you could argue that English is relatively simple when compared to other languages.

Look at the possible verb variations of play:  play, plays, played, playing.  (4)

Now look at the verb variations of the same word in Spanish: jugar, jugando, jugado, juego, juegas, juega, jugamos, jugais, juegan, jugué, jugaste, jugó, jugamos, jugasteis, jugaron, jugaría, jugarías, jugaríamos, jugaríais, jugarían, juegue, juegues, juguemos, juguéis, juegen, jugara, jugase, jugaras, jugases, jugáramos, jugásemos, jugarais, jugaseis, jugaran, jugasen, jugaré, jugarás, jugará, jugaremos jugaréis, juagarán, jugad, jugaba, jugabas, jugábamos, jugabais, jugaban. (47)

(Side note to all of you Spaniards who constantly forget to use the 3rd person singular correcly!! You only have a choice of 4!)

I’m sure most of you will agree that one of the things that makes English difficult is the fact that every rule in the language seems to have an exception.

With that in mind, I thought you might appreciate this poem, about the English plural:

Ode to The English Plural

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox  becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,

And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

It one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth

Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,

Yet a hat in the plural would never be hose,

And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him

But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!